They sit around in French caf?and come up with existentialism.”"I think we get the better of the deal,” said the man with the dog.”I still think the Major’s mind is being rotted,” said the red-haired lady. You can’t even remember Jamie Oliver’s name! I blame the crisps they serve in pubs, myself. “I think he’s now called The Man Who Put The Wind Up The Government. With all those TV programmes showing how ghastly school dinners are…”"It’s not the fact that they are ghastly,” said the man with the dog. “It’s the fact that they are also dangerously high in salt and sugar, and this leads to behavioural problems, and all the children lack concentration and hit the teachers. I’m summarising the situation, obviously, but that’s it in a nutshell.”"Warning: nutshells may be dangerous to your argument,” said the Welshman.”Very clever,” said the man with the dog.”I don’t see it myself,” said the Major, who had been listening from behind a glass of red wine. We sit around in British pubs and come up with shaggy dog stories.
If he could prove the low value of conversation in pubs, and the appalling level of fact retention as evinced by the Major, was down to the terrible stuff they put in pub snacks, it would change the face of British pub culture. They’re rotting the Major’s mind.”"Well,” said the Welshman, “maybe if Jamie Oliver turned his attention to British pub food, he could cause another revolution. “I come here of an evening and I have a few glasses of sugary wine, and a couple of packets of salt-enriched crisps, and I don’t present any behavioural problems.”"That’s because nobody is trying to teach you anything,” said the Welshman. “If you were trying to acquire and retain knowledge, you might be a maniac.”"Anyway,” said the Major, “this Jamie Theakston fellow…”"Ah!” said the man with the dog “You see, you do have learning problems. And there were two of them.”"But they weren’t ladies.”"Not in the traditional sense, maybe,” she said reluctantly.
“No, they did drink and swear a bit…”"And I don’t think he’s actually called the Naked Chef any more,” said the resident Welshman. In the battle against the corrosion of modernity, there is no equivalent of the Berlin Wall.The Pope may not have won, but he fought the good fight This was a man who had a numinous quality His moral inspiration will endure
More from Bruce Anderson. ‘I could never make out why he was called the Naked Chef”, said the lady with the red hairdo, sipping her Campari and soda. “I watched every episode and he never took his clothes off once.”
‘I could never make out why he was called the Naked Chef”, said the lady with the red hairdo, sipping her Campari and soda. Bring out the flavour that was there, not load it with sauces and creams It was like music being unplugged.
