They came to my house and wired me up to a monitor which tested my brainwaves when I went to sleep. Following the tests they prescribed me Paroxetine, which stopped the sleepwalking straight away.”Sue Wilson, a researcher at the clinic, explains why the results were so immediate. “The treatment that Joe has been prescribed is a selective re-uptake inhibitor, usually used in the suppression of panic attacks or as an anti-depressant. The only difference is that it takes two to three weeks to take effect with those conditions, whereas with sleepwalking and night terrors it works after just one dose.”We don’t know why it works, but it produces changes in serotonin – a chemical transmitter in the brain – which could be the key. So far, we have only tried the drug on seven patients, but four of them have seen their sleep problems completely abolished and the other three have encountered a substantial reduction in symptoms.”The next step for us would be to do a controlled study in which we withdraw half the patients from the drugs and try to get some consistent results. We are constricted by funds, however, and there are none available to carry out the study.”For Joe, relying on medication is a worry “I never wanted to be on drugs permanently. I see them as a sort of sticking plaster that covers up but doesn’t really heal, but I’d be a bit frightened of coming off them now because I’m so much better.”Until such time as funds become more available, however, that prospect is not very likely.
Meanwhile, Joe is grateful he no longer has to rely on luck and an understanding girlfriend to keep him out of trouble and in his bed.. Every decade has its seminal moment of football fashion. The first time George Best wore his shirt outside his shorts, that Nobby Stiles took to the pitch without his teeth in, that Kevin Keegan walked into his barber’s and said “I can’t do a thing with it – can we try a perm?” Ever since the first Saturday afternoon that Eric Cantona pulled on his jersey in a hurry, Sunday footballers all over the land have been cavorting around with their collars up in homage. But now there is a new contender for the fashion detail that takes football into the new millennium. Last Sunday afternoon, as Liverpool’s new Czech star Patrik Berger scored twice against Leicester, all eyes were on his stunning footwork.
But had anyone glanced upwards they would have noticed the little black item with which the Super Czech kept his flowing locks in place. The man whose goals lifted Liverpool to the top of the Premiership was clearly wearing an Alice band.
It is worth noting that Berger started the match on the subs bench, replacing Liverpool’s troubled star striker Stan Collymore in the second half with dramatic effect. Now Collymore’s regular place alongside Robbie Fowler is in doubt. Liverpool manager Roy Evans may explain away Collymore’s eclipse by saying that “he is not as sharp as normal”, but come off it The real reason is there for all to see Collymore is a tonsorial dinosaur. A footballer with a head shorn like a billiard ball is yesterday’s footballer.This is not the first time players have trotted out in garments more suited to the ground floor at Harrods than the hallowed turf of our footballing citadels.
